As Good as it Gets

A fond adieu

2006-05-24T14:04:00.000-05:00

FEED ME!!

Well, it's been a long time since I last blogged, and I'm afraid it's going to have to be that way again. Tomorrow morning I depart for the great state of Wisconsin to spend my summer doing what I do best...performing. On tap for this years Heartland Arts Festival are three magnificent musicals that promise to entertain both children and adults alike. The first to open is a Wisconsin folklore comedy called "Belgians in Heaven," in which I play a lazy farmer whose best friend is an invisible chicken named, Mildred. Next up is "Little Shop of Horrors" where I will provide the booming voice of Audrey II (pictured above). This is an AMAZING cast with a phenomenal director, so if you've never seen "Little Shop" live, and happen to be in Southwest Wisconsin in the next couple of months, CATCH THIS SHOW. The third and final show is the family classic "The Wizard of Oz," where I will play, you guessed it, The Cowardly Lion. This role is a dream come true for me and promises to be my most challenging role to date.

So there you have it. The next two months of my life in a nutshell. This may even prove to be my final blog as I'm thinking of conforming with the rest of the known free-world and joining...gulp...My Space. But that has yet to be finalized. Have a wonderful summer everyone, and remember, DON'T FEED THE PLANTS!

BUSY WEEKEND!

2006-03-31T09:34:00.000-06:00

I know, I know. The guy doesn't hardly post a damn thing for two months, but today he posts twice. The reason for this is that I finally have a little free time, and I felt like writing about my weekend plans, so here you go...
I'll be doing my first acting in the Indianapolis area starting tonight with the Oaklandon Civic Theater's presentation of "April Foolishness," a collection of short plays written by the Indy Playmakers. I'm in a short called "Washed Ashore," which is being directed by a good friend of mine, Marc Hardy. He is the president of the Indiana Theatre Association and is one hell of a model American. The show runs for two weekends at the Oaklandon Civic Theater. I don't know if I can recommend that you come, as I've only seen two of the seven shorts to be presented, but I'm sure it's a decent alternative to Friday night television.
I'll have to miss this Sunday's performance though (don't worry the director knew about this before he cast me) because I'll be attending Wrestlemania 22 in Chicago!!! I've never been this excited in my life. I'm a life long fan of the WWF now WWE, and this will only be the second time I've seen it live. My first Wrestlemania. I CAN'T WAIT! Most people don't understand my love affair with professional wrestling, but it's just something that is very important to me. I know some people who cannot live without their soap opera's, and I guess it's the same for me and wrestling. It's my "All My Children" or "Days of Our Lives." So anyway, the van's going to have a lot of mileage put on it this weekend with the multiple trips to Indy and then to Chicago, but it's all good. Thank God for credit cards so that I can pay for the gas! I promise pictures from Mania, so stay tuned!

"I got a fever..."

2006-03-31T08:47:00.000-06:00

"And the only prescription...is more cowbell!" A great line from what has to be one of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches ever. And I know I can't be alone on this! Christopher Walken is a comedic genius (among so many other things), and today, March 31st, is his birthday! Walken is one of my all-time favorite character actors, so to celebrate I thought I'd share some random facts about the man who has "never turned down a role." It's true. Walken has been quoted on numerous occasions saying that he has never turned down a role that was offered to him. Check out his filmography, it's insane! Along with films, he is very active in theatre, television, and even starred in the Fatboy Slim music video, Weapon of Choice. Watch and enjoy. The man has serious dancing chops. Here's some other random tid-bits about one of the most impersonated actors in Hollywood:

His real name is Ronald.
He was the runner-up to Harrison Ford for the role of Han Solo in Star Wars.
One of his first jobs was posing nude with two cats for a series of calendar photos at the age of 14 months.
To ensure his signature speaking style, Walken often removes the punctuation from his scripts.

So there you go. Happy Birthday to the man, the myth, and the legend that is, Christopher Walken. Oh yeah, it's also Al Gore's birthday. Yippee.

How do you eat yours?

2006-03-18T21:34:00.000-06:00

I love the Easter season. You know why? Cadbury Creme Eggs. These little devils will someday be the death of Mr. Brouwer, for when Easter comes I indulge in the creamy milk chocolate orbs with the soft fondant center until my blood sugar level is higher than a pot smoker on 4-20. They're like cat nip to me. I just can't get enough of them. You know why? Because they're only available for roughly 2 1/2 months! Someone who's favorite candy is a Snickers bar or perhaps a Rolo can get their sugar fix anytime they want, 365 days a year. While I, a Creme Egg aficionado, have to pillage and stock pile, then try to ration my Cadbury hall over the next 10 months until once again the red, yellow, green & blue foil o' fun is resurrected. So, getting back to the title of this entry...if you enjoy a good Cadbury Creme Egg, how do you eat yours? I, personally, bite off the end and proceed to suck out the soft fondant center until I am left with a hollow milk chocolate shell. Mmmm Easter.

The future is NOW!

2006-03-07T22:21:00.000-06:00

I promised you some changes, and here they are...Luke and Sammy (apparently the only two people who read this thing anymore). The new and hopefully improved "As Good as it Gets." I hope you like the updated pic, colors and quotes...it's not much, but it's home. Just a reminder, that you DO NOT have to be a blogger to leave a comment on any post. I know there's not much to comment on, but I promise I'll give you some new stuff soon. At the moment, however, I am tired and mucho pissed, so it's off to bed for me. Tomorrow's a new day.

May I always live to serve you and your crown,
M.A.B.

The future of "As Good as it Gets"...

2006-03-04T10:14:00.000-06:00

Hello, and thanks for sticking with me as I went through one of my life's many (and probably not my last) uncreative segments. Rest assured that I have some topics in mind for future blog entries, and a brand new color scheme/icon on the way. I'm now feeling excessively creative! Be patient and take solace in knowing that a brand new "As Good as it Gets" is on the way!

Big hug and an ass squeeze,
M.A.B.

Twenty-four (not to be confused with the hit show on Fox)

2006-02-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

*Blows out 12 candles. Takes a puff from his asthma inhaler, and blows out 12 more.*

I turned twenty-four today. Wow. More news, hopefully of the good variety, to come later. Now I must go to bed because I'm getting old and it's past my bedtime. Goodnight.

P.S. I haven't posted in darn near a month...anyone still read this thing?

Day of mourning

2006-01-15T19:45:00.000-06:00

I have some horrible news. Please make sure you are sitting down, grab a Kleenex, and please brace yourself. I'm just not quite sure how to tell you this, but here goes nothing...the Bears have been eliminated from the playoffs. THIS SUCKS!

In other news, I'm having some problems coming up with resolutions. This being the case, I may just resign myself to another year with no direction. I know I promised them, but I may have to break said promise and instead continue to sit in my bubble of silence. This may be my last post for awhile as I'm just not feeling very creative lately. When and if I have some news to report, you'll be the first to know.

Welp, off to watch some Punky Brewster, take care and see you when I see you.

You say you want a resolution...

2006-01-06T23:22:00.000-06:00

2005 was not a good year for my family and I. There were numerous illnesses, painful financial burden due to said illnesses, and just a general lack of happiness all around. Personally, I attribute this to not having any goals set for myself other than returning to the stage, which I accomplished with the Heartland Arts Festival. With 2006 being a brand new year, and with me feeling like I DEFINITELY need a change, I'm going to come up with some resolutions for myself and hopefully have them posted here by the end of the weekend. Seacrest, out.

Christmas Wishes

2005-12-25T04:41:00.000-06:00

"Merry Christmas...Shitter was full!" ~ Cousin Eddie

I haven't had a whole lot to say over the past week, so I'll keep this short and sweet. I just wanted to wish everyone who visits this blog a very Merry Christmas. I hope you have a very special day with the ones you love. I know it's cliche to say that it's about family and not the presents, but cherish the moments you get with your family, especially on a day like Christmas.

Oh, and don't forget to leave a comment. You don't have to have an account!

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas!

2005-12-17T17:41:00.000-06:00

How special are my nieces, Haley and Alexis? So special that good ol' Santa Claus himself paid them a visit today! I had to call long distance to the North Pole and cash in a favor, but Uncle Mark came through and delivered the jolly man in red. HE EVEN BROUGHT SOME PRESENTS STRAIGHT FROM THE NORTH POLE! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Two old guys sitting on a bench.

2005-12-06T18:22:00.000-06:00

So I went into Walmart yesterday, not looking for anything in particular, just browsing and people watching. I observed one young mother, couldn't have been over 19, swat her blonde haired toddler on the behind as he lunged for a Dragonball Z action figure in passing. She said, "NO TRAVIS! You can't have that. You've been horrible this week and you'll be lucky if Santa even remembers you at Christmas!" That got me thinking, just how "horrible" could Travis have been? What did he do that made his mother break out the gravest threat any 4 year old has ever heard, "You'll be lucky if Santa even remembers you." Sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it.
I wandered back to electronics, and saw an old friend from high school. We had the traditional, obligatory, and meaningless conversation that inevitably comes at such an unpredictable and awkward moment such as this. "Hi, how are you? Me? Oh, I'm fine. What are you doing these days? Oh yeah? Great. Seeing anyone these days? Oh you're married?! Wow. Any kids on the horizon? Well, hey, it was great seeing you...oh by the way, do you ever talk to such and such? Yeah, me either. Well take care and tell your mom I said hi. Bye." Sound familiar?
That's when my social anxiety disorder got the best of me, and I headed for the door. And that's where I saw them. They were bundled up, sitting by the newspaper machine, one with a fedora much like the ones pictured above, and the other with a kane. Two old guys sitting on a bench (Disclaimer: the men above are just a visual aid and not the exact men I saw). Both had rosey cheeks and a little bit of a runny nose. They sat there talking about the weather, about how silly they were for sitting out in it, but how they just couldn't make it around ANOTHER store. They spoke of their grandchildren and how they all were coming home for Christmas. One said his wife was stocking up on toilet paper at that very moment in anticipation of such a homecoming event.
It made me sad. A good friend, former friend (who knows what our title is for one another anymore) and I have been fighting of late. And just in case you're wondering, it's not Ben, this is another friend. In my eyes it's not a petty disagreement, not this time, but in his it probably is. We've been friends for almost 10 years and if I know him like I think I know him, he probably doesn't even know why I'm mad. But anyway, what made me sad is that we had always said that someday we'd be the two old guys sitting on the bench in front of Walmart, and at this rate...that's never going to be a possibility. We haven't talked in roughly 2 months. I know he reads this blog, just as I read his, so we obviously still wonder about one another's lives. And to answer a post on his blog, it's not that everything and everyone else in my life is better and now more worthy of my time. But I just got so damn mad this time and I can't seem to let it go. Every time I see him, hell even think about him, it brings back the anger. So rather than kill him, yes, I've tried to turn a blind eye to anything that has to do with him. And I hate that. Friends shouldn't hate to be around one another. Maybe we've grown apart, who knows. And just for the record, posting a message on a blog is not something to take "solace in" and should not even remotely be considered as "making an effort" to fix this problem. If only this fight had happened anytime other than Christmas, I'd have been able to hold this grudge for months without comment. Damn old men and their bench.

DA BEARS!

2005-12-04T16:12:00.000-06:00

The infamous Bears superfans: Bill Swerski, Bob Swerski, Carl Wollarski, Pat Arnold, & Todd O'Connor (above) would be proud, as today the Bears defense engulfed future hall of fame quarterback Brett Favre and the Packers like Hurricane Ditka. It wasn't exactly a pretty win, but then again no Bears win is pretty. After all, we're not the Colts...but the Bears did win again, 19-7, led by that vaunted defense and 4 forced turnovers. 9-3 record. 8 game winning streak. I'll take it. Can't wait to see just how far this team goes in the playoffs. DA BEARS!

BEAT GREEN BAY!

2005-12-03T16:55:00.000-06:00

Now that I have my girly/mushy post out of the way for the day, lets talk FOOTBALL. The Chicago Bears, my beloved Chicago Bears, are sitting pretty at 8-3 overall and are in the midst of a mind-boggling 7 game winning streak. 2001 was the last time they had this good of a record at this point in the season and that year they hosted a playoff game. Did you know I have a football autographed by that team? Got it as a Christmas present that season. Anyway, back to my Bears. I call them "my Bears" because I have never once wavered from their bandwagon. I have celebrated through their successful seasons, been miserable during the not-so-winning seasons, and never once lost my seat on the Bears express. 2005, the 20 year anniversary of Chicago's lone Super Bowl, seems to be a year of destiny for this team, and after tomorrow we will know for sure. Why tomorrow you ask? Because it's Chicago vs. Green Bay. Bears vs. Packers. Urlacher vs. Favre. It doesn't get any better than this. Lets hope that Bears receiver Muhsin Muhammad gets to do his "figure 8" on numerous occasions against the Packers, just as he did against the Panthers (above), and that Brian Urlacher and the rest of the Bears #1 ranked defense make life a living hell for Mr. Favre and the Pack as they have for so many other teams this season. Ahh yes, I love this rivalry, but I loathe the fact that Green Bay has beaten Chicago at Soldier Field 11 times in a row. That just might change tomorrow, in fact, it's all I want for Christmas. Good ol' Saint Nick wouldn't deprive me of this would he? Bear down.

Bear down, Chicago Bears,

make every play clear the way to victory

Bear down, Chicago Bears,

put up a fight with a might so fearlessly

We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation

with your T-formation

Bear down, Chicago Bears,

and let them know why you're wearing the crown

You're the pride and joy of Illinois,

Chicago Bears, bear down

Happy Birthday, Ben!

2005-12-03T15:52:00.000-06:00

My best friend, Ben, and I go way back. Rensselaer Central High School Chamber Singers to be exact. If you want to go even further back, how about a middle school confrontation between he and my brother over a delicious little cookie. Our friendship, like any great friendship, has always been based on trust and the ability to help one another in times of need. I like to think that I helped Ben come out of his shell and realize that he had incomparable talents as far as performing arts are concerned. I also like to think that his faith and confidence in me has helped make me a better person. We've sang National Anthems together, done musicals together, gone to church together, created Blues Brothers tribute acts together, drag raced our 20 foot + cars together, drank gallons of Mt. Dew together, ate boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls while discussing relationships together...the list goes on and on. He's introduced me to the bass guitar, phat side burns and Buffalo Wild Wings. I've introduced him to standing ovations, living room wrestling (I know you're still the champion) and the feeling of living in a pink bedroom.
Ben and I have been through so much--so much that I can't even remember half of it. Ben's 26th birthday was this week and I guess there's no better time to thank him for his friendship than now.
So, Ben, thank you for respecting me in all facets of my life and never losing sight of what it means to be "friends." Girls have come between us, but never split us apart. Religion could have become an issue, but you never allowed it to affect our friendship. Not even 2 years of you living in Alabama did anything to hurt our relationship, and that is why you moving to Indianapolis earlier this fall doesn't scare me as far as our friendship is concerned. You're finally happy with your work as a youth leader and that's what is truly important. You are a true friend in every sense of the word, so even though I was at your surprise party in Indy this week I just wanted to say once again, Happy Birthday, bud. Keep on keepin' on.

All the best, Tom Wopat

2005-11-24T11:39:00.000-06:00

What a day I had yesterday! Thanks to Misty Longstreth's fast dialing fingers and the new Q, WLQI, I got free tickets to see "Chicago" at Chicago's Cadillac Palace theatre. GREAT SHOW. If you ever get a chance to see "Chicago" in Chicago, DO IT.

My favorite college professor, John Rahe, and I started out at about 11 o'clock and ventured into the infamous Second City. Traffic sucked, but nonetheless we made it with an hour to spare before our 2 o'clock matinee. After dining at a fine Chicago restaurant, Dunkin' Donuts, we made our way to the theatre district and found the beautiful Cadillac Palace. Our seats were PHENOMENAL, fifteen rows from the stage DEAD CENTER and spacious.

And get this...as we walked into the theatre who do I see standing in the lobby in blue jeans and a t-shirt?

TOM F'IN WOPAT.

I knew he was playing the role of Billy Flynn courtesy of Chicagothemusic al.com but I didn't think I'd see him in the lobby! After it registered that I was looking at the REAL Luke Duke, I had to go and introduce myself.

"Hello, Mr. Wopat, I'm a huge fan," I said.

"Well, I'm glad, very nice to meet you, what's your name?" TOM WOPAT said.

"Mark, sir. I've been a fan of your work for years," I replied (being very careful NOT to mention "The Dukes of Hazzard" because I heard it pisses him off that that's all he's known for).

"You know, Mark, you really should check out my new cd. It's romantic music, all Sinatra covers. It makes a great Christmas gift for Mom or that special lady in your life," TOM WOPAT said.

And then I lied.

"I've already got it, sir."

"You are a big fan!" TOM WOPAT said with a huge smile on his face. "Let me sign your program!"

And he did. "All the best, Tom Wopat."

I know it's wrong to lie, but I really didn't want that CD, and I saw no graceful way out other than to tell him that I owned it already. He probably thought I was a tiny bit homosexual to have his album of romantic Sinatra covers, but I didn't care. What I did and still do care about is that I now have a "Chicago" program that says "All the best, Tom Wopat." We shook hands and humbly parted. Boo yah.

But that wasn't all! Misty had mentioned that she thought my fire-haired object of lust, Paige Davis, was in "Chicago" but after I looked at the website it made no mention of the former "Trading Spaces" host. I knew she performed the role of Roxie Hart on Broadway this summer, but as I said, the website didn't mention her as being part of the national touring company. BUT IT DID IN THE PLAYBILL!

"The Chicago company welcomes Paige Davis playing the role of Roxie Hart."

MY TONGUE FELL OUT OF MY MOUTH. John had to punch me in the arm to bring me back to the "real world." And let me just say that she was GREAT. Beautiful alto voice, and those legs. WOW. I didn't get to meet her, but I did get to see her in action and for that I am very thankful!

After the show, John and I safely navigated our way back to Indiana through the Thanksgiving Eve traffic and celebrated by having dinner at my favorite restaurant, Buffalo Wild Wings. After a trip to Barnes & Noble we made our way back to Rensselaer with many memories in tow. It was a great day, with a great show, great food, and great company. Thanks again, Misty.

And all that Jazz.

My aching back

2005-11-19T16:57:00.000-06:00

She was strikingly beautiful. Dark hair, green eyes, tan skin, long legs...GORGEOUS. We met at a bookstore and after an evening of mixed drinks at the local pub, retired to her place for a little QT.
"Want some coffee?" she asked.
"If you're making a pot," I replied.
I watched as she walked into the kitchen and could not believe my eyes. This woman was, MY GOD, completely out of my league. But I was ready, I was born ready, and I was not going to let this chance slip through my fingers.
She returned with the aforementioned java and sat beside me on the couch innocently propping her feet up on my thighs.
"Nothing like a hot cup of coffee on a cold night," she stated.
"Nope," I said (It was all I could muster, I'm just not good at this).
"Wanna do me a favor?" she asked. "My back is killing me, would you give me a back rub?"
"Definitely," I said. "Turn over."
And she did. I pulled up her shirt, revealing a sexy tribal tattoo on her lower back that I had somehow missed throughout the evening, and went to work.
"I just don't know what I did, it hurts so bad," she said.
"I feel your pain," I replied.
The only problem was that I really could feel her pain. With every move I made, the sensation of a knife being stabbed into my lower back ran rampant through my body. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and quickly turned around...

And promptly fell off the bed.

Another AMAZING dream, with so many possibilities, gone to waste.

See, when I "turned around" I actually "rolled over," and when I found that I was not in an extremely sexy brunette's apartment, but in fact on the floor of my bedroom with a black lab licking my face, I was noticeably distraught. But that feeling soon left me...replaced by the stark realization that I could not get up. My back was and still is killing me. I must have turned myself inside out last night and slept in the shape of a pretzel because the amount of muscle spasms and general aching I'm experiencing just isn't humane. Add to the pain the fact that my beloved Wolverines of Michigan lost to the hated Buckeyes of Ohio State and this day has managed to both suck and blow at the same time. It can't get much worse, can it? We shall see. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, you're dismissed.

R.I.P. Latino Heat

2005-11-13T12:01:00.000-06:00

Eddie Guerrero passes away
WWE is deeply saddened by the news that Eddie Guerrero has passed away. He was found dead this morning in his hotel room in Minneapolis. Eddie is survived by his wife Vickie and daughters Kaylie Marie, Shaul and Sherilyn.

I know it's not "cool" to be a fan of pro wrestling in the eyes of most, but I cannot deny that I love this form of entertainment. So it is on days like this, when one of my favorite entertainers passes away, that I fondly look back at the memories he has left me.
As a lifetime fan of professional wrestling, I have witnessed many wrestlers come and go through the swinging door that is WWE. For various reasons, as with any fan, some wrestlers are more endearing to me than others. Be it their undeniable charisma, their larger than life persona, or their shear talent in the ring, these men have entertained me for years, and constantly take me back to my childhood. Eddie Guerrero was one of these men.
I used to DESPISE Eddie Guerrero when I was a kid. In the old WCW, Eddie was banished to the Cruiserweight Division and never given a chance to truly shine, and I was fine with that. I hated his shaggy mullet and stereotypical Mexican personality. I hated it when he won a match, and loved it when he lost. As I grew older, however, I realized that Eddie was just doing his job. See, there are two types of wrestlers in the world. Faces, the good guys, and Heels, the bad guys. Eddie, for most of his career, was a heel. His job was to make you hate him, and he was one of the best.
Eventually, after he moved to WWE, he earned his chance to be Heavyweight champion and became one of the most beloved professional wrestlers alive. He successfully defended his title at Wrestlemania 20 and in one of the greatest moments in professional wrestling history, stood along side best friend Chris Benoit, a fellow champion, with his title held high as the broadcast went off the air.
He was supposed to be champion again. Tonight. The current champion is injured and Eddie was supposed to get his chance at the top again. But now, that's impossible. The Lord works in mysterious ways. In case you haven't figured it out by reading a previous post, I hate death. I don't understand why some people are taken when they are, and it deeply affects me. I didn't know the man Eddie Guerrero, but I certainly knew the character Eddie Guerrero, and I'm going to miss him. He overcame numerous addictions in his life, and I fear that one of these may have been the cause of his untimely death. I sure hope not, but know this Latino Heat...wrestling fans around the world are going to miss you. May you rest in peace.

Apparently, I need to post.

2005-11-12T22:04:00.000-06:00

I'm back...

Two simple words. Michael Jordan made them famous (a couple of times), but I'm taking them to a whole new level! On second thought, lets not get ahead of ourselves. Yes I am back, but it is inevitable that, like Mike, I will once again disappear. Luke forced me to start this blog, so consider it a form of rebellion whenever I leave. But for now, I am here, and damn glad to be posting again.

Apparently, as an anonymous commenter has stated on two occassions in my last entry, I've been gone far too long for some people's liking. I've missed you too, anonymous, and I apologize for not being a good little blogger. I will try harder to please you in the future, but you must do something for me in return. Please keep commenting! I love your witty sentences that play on my own words! But like any good deal, there is a catch, and this is in fact your mission if you choose to accept it. Are you ready? Ok, here goes. You must begin every comment with the word "apparently." I know that's asking a lot, but it's the precedent you've already set for yourself and there's nothing I can do about it. Oh, and use your blogger name to comment with. Because if you are judging someone else's blog without possessing a blog of your own, I'm sure you are in direct violation of one of Luke's rules for blogging. I'll let him tell you which one for sure.

And now the answer to the question I know you are all asking...You are asking a question right? No? Well, I'll ask it then. "Mark, where have you been for the past month and ten days?" To steal a line from Johnny Cash, I've been everywhere, man.

-I've been to work every frickin' week at Rensselaer's finest source for local news, "The Rensselaer Republican." Speaking of which, when are we going to see that new design in print? Your guess is as good as mine.

-I've been to Saint Joseph's College to see a really good play, "The Last Night of Ballyhoo."

-I've been to some phenominal high school football games featuring my beloved Rensselaer Central Bombers at Benton Central, Rensselaer, North Judson, Rensselaer again, and finally Jimtown. The latter being one of the greatest football games I've ever witnessed despite the result.

- I've been to D&S Computer to get my computer fixed. The motherboard took a dump and fried a bunch of other crap which resulted in my spending damn near $400 which I didn't have. I swear I was going to post that week, but my computer crashed. I don't care if you don't believe me.

-I've been to a killer birthday party for a sweet little girl named Paige.

-I've been to ticketmaster.com and purchased my seat for Wrestlemania 22. Yeah, that's right, I'm going to Wrestlemania. If you don't like wrestling, I don't care, go away. *DISCLAIMER* In case you're wondering about my financial situation, this was purchased 2 days before the computer crashed, so don't chastise me for complaining about not having money. Unexpected expenses suck.

-I've been to my living room and watched the Chicago Bears sky rocket to first place in the NFC North on the heels of a four game winning streak (I know the division blows, but once again I don't care, go away).

-I've also been to the living room and watched mighty Michigan self destruct in the Big Ten race, the White Sox win the World Series, and the Bulls win 3 of 5 to start their season.

-I've been to the bathroom an average of 3 times a day. OK 4. No more than 5.

-I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off while taking care of my mom who had extensive knee surgery.

-I've been outside trying to rake leaves, only to have the wind blow them back from whence they came.

And that's all I have to say about that. I'll be back again soon, I promise. Please try to refrain from attacking me again about my blogging habits, I'm very sensitive. Until my return, here's something to occupy your time. I'd like to know where you have been in the last month and 10 days. Feel free to post your answer in my comments.

It's good to be back. Now go away.

An Indecisive State of Mind

2005-10-02T10:59:00.000-05:00

I received a letter in the mail on Friday. I'd been waiting for it for quite some time, knowing what it's contents would contain. Closure.

"Dear Mark Brouwer," - So far so good, they spelled my name right...

"Thank you for giving us the opportunity to examine your credentials for the position of Corporate Marketing Manager for the Distance Learning Center." - Well, it was no problem really, just standard procedure. I want a job, I send you my credentials. Ever get a feeling there's going to be a "but" though?? The ever present "but."

"The Committee found your credentials to be most noteworthy," - Now you're making me blush! Noteworthy? Me? I'm noteworthy? Well, you're noteworthy as well, committee. You know what noteworthy people do though? They wait for the "but."

"however," - AND THERE IT IS! The ever present "but" in it's just as popular "however" form. I was first introduced to "however" when I received this comment in sixth grade: "I would dance with you, however, I find you repulsive." Thanks for the life lesson, Lori. As for the letter, it's all smoke up the ass from here...

"we regret to inform you that we are unable to consider your application for this position at the time." - LIARS! I doubt that you really regret it, committee. This is just how you get me to stop calling.

"We thank you for your interest in the University of Wisconsin-Platteville and we wish you continued success in reaching your professional goals." - Well, to continue success in reaching one's "professional goals," one has to have had some success where one's professional goals are concerned. Ouch, that stings a little.

Well...that was a reality check. REJECTION. No job for you! Try again, sweetheart. Better luck next time. If at first you don't succeed...blah blah blah. In hindsight, I think I really needed this. It gives me new focus, and a renewed vigor to find out what exactly I want to do with my life. I have a lot of "I think I would like to..." statements stumbling around in my head like a dog riding in the bed of a pickup, but nothing for certain. As soon as I get all four legs behind an idea, I turn a corner, fall on my ass, and slap my chin on the bed side. But I do know this for sure. I am not going to take a full-time position at the paper again, it's time for me to move on. I just don't know where.

Bud Rock Light and the Tripod

2005-09-25T15:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Homecoming at my alma mater, the esteemed Saint Joseph's College (IN). I didn't attend last year because I didn't really want to see anyone that soon after graduation, but this year was different. Lately, I've been missing friends from my college years. Friends that I survived core lectures with. Friends that I did some of my best theatrical work with. Friends that understand me. Even some who I didn't go to school with, but whose friendship was attained by association with a classmate. At Hawaii '05 I got to see these friends again, and it was a great day. Listed below are twenty-five memories that I'm just not ready to forget.

1) High School-esque friendships and AIM Blocking for no apparent reason.
2) Me: "How are you and what are you doing now?"
3) Bill: "I quit my job, again."
4) Cortny: "Wonderful and I'm a prostitute."
5) Me: "THE FIRST TWO PEOPLE I SEE?! WHAT THE F@#$?!"
6) Never-ending beer glass.
7) Having to drink Bud Rock Light (A delightful concoction of Bud Light and Rolling Rock) because of #6.
8) Being entirely too drunk to care what was in my glass.
9) The Tripod.
10) Mmmm, Nachos in Brandy and I's mouths.
11) Ick, Nachos on her purse and my shirt.
12) Brandy: "Did that old guy just pick a nacho off the ground and dip it in my purse?"
13) Walking to the Green Room (Porta-potty) with Jen.
14) Walking to the Green Room with Edgar.
15) Walking to the Green Room alone. Twice. I drank a lot damn it.
16) Edgar: "These cheerleaders are ugly."
17) Skull burn. Should've worn a hat.
18) Surviving Hurricane Hayes, though Marge's wheelchair may not have.
19) Brown shorts. Ick.
20) John Rahe: "And there's our Homecoming Queen, God bless her."
21) Andy: "Red shirt, tight jeans." Me: "Damn."
22) Luke and Bree. Good people.
23) Bob Garrity and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad play by play announcers.
24) Rebecca Lynn and her snazzy purple shirt.
25) Edgar: "God this is good, how long has it been since I smoked?" Jen: "A week." Edgar: "That's a long time for me."

Good day.

Google me this, Google me that...

2005-09-25T11:54:00.000-05:00

plagiarism n - 1: a piece of writing that has been copied from someone else and is presented as being your own work 2: the act of plagiarizing; taking someone's words or ideas as if they were your own

Source: www.dictionary.com

Life is short.

2005-09-19T22:58:00.000-05:00

I know I promised a post on what I was jealous of tonight. For those of you looking for that post, I apologize because you won't find it here, not tonight. Maybe I'll feel like writing about it later in the week, but this post is of much more importance.
Life is short. I know the cliche police are probably hunting me down for that one as we speak, but damn it, it's true. I was at a football game last Friday night and had a wonderful conversation with a good friend of mine from high school, J.R. Studer. J.R. is the kind of guy you love being around. He's got a million dollar laugh, and you can't help but smile when you're in his presence. Anyway, we were talking about a mutual friend of ours from high school, Jon Hale. Jon was one hell of a good guy. He was a hard ass and a teddy bear all wrapped up into one damn good human being. Jon died at the terribly young age of 23 this past summer in a tragic motorcycle accident. I was working in Wisconsin when I heard of Jon's death and was unable to attend his funeral. J.R. filled me in on the details and I couldn't help but smile. Jon went out in style. He'd just been hired by the Gary, IN police force, his life long dream I might add, and he got the full blown policeman's funeral. Bagpipes, American flag, the works. I couldn't have been more proud. And I couldn't help but think about how short life can be.
Today, a double homicide occurred in Remington, IN. A young lady by the name of Lisa Kendall age 29, mother of two sons ages 10 and 8, and another woman named Kendora Furr were gunned down in cold blood while working at a Family Express gas station. My brother's dear friend Opie, that's the only name I know him by, used to date Ms. Kendall as of a couple weeks ago. My brother was good friends with her, my sister-in-law had just helped her through a terribly rough spot in her life, and thought that all was on the up and up. Then this happened. A strange man walked into her place of work, supposedly grabbed her by the neck and shot her point blank in the head. Rumors are swirling as to why the two women were murdered. That's what small towns do best, spread rumors, but according to my brother, Kendora Furr was supposed to be a witness in a rather important rape trial in the coming months and could have been the victim of a professional hitman. Lisa just happened to be working with her that day. My brother is pretty shook up about all of this. He tries to act like it doesn't faze him, but the more my mother and I talked to him, the more he started talking about his own situation and his own girls. He's got two GORGEOUS daughters, my nieces, and he fears that each day could be his last and that his girls would have to grow up without their daddy. Yeah, he's just a truck driver, but last year more truck drivers were killed in over-the-road accidents than soldiers were in Iraq. Life is short.
In retrospect, maybe this is a post about my jealousy. My original jealousy post was just going to be something funny about how I was jealous I never had a good nickname. But, now...now I'm jealous of those who have lived life to the fullest extent possible, people such as Jon and Lisa. And even though circumstances prevented them from getting to their thirties, they achieved so much in their short time on earth. Life is short. May God bless you Jon, Lisa and Kendora. You'll never know how much you affected my life in an indirect manner.

The root of all evil...

2005-09-18T19:21:00.000-05:00

I'm jealous. Terribly, terribly jealous. Jealous beyond description. Jealous beyond repair. So damn jealous that I just can't concentrate. "Why are you so jealous?" you may be asking yourself. Well this is a blog, so I'd be glad to tell you. Tomorrow, when I feel like posting.

By the way, how about those NFC North leading Chicago Bears? 38-6 win over the Detroit Lions. Bear down!

Until tomorrow,
Mark

Year of the Dog...starring my dog, Jake!

2005-09-07T20:21:00.000-05:00

My blog is now teaching me things. As I typed out all of my interests, favorite movies and favorite music last night, I had no idea that my blog would soon reveal to me my Zodiac year. That of the Dog. Now, I've had a couple of past girlfriends call me a dog before, and when I was three I did taste test some Alpo, but I never understood the significance of these events until now.
After a little research (thank you Google), I found a description of what all "Year of the Dog" human beings should have in common. Those of you who know me, see if this fits.
"People born in the "Year of the Dog" possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people's confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But "Dog People" are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth; yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit. You are honest and faithful. You can worry too much. You will make an excellent business person, teacher or secret agent."
To tell you the truth, I was shocked. That describes me to a "T." I feel I am very loyal. I know I can be brutally honest at times, and I've been told by a very special someone that I'm very good at inspiring people's confidence. Occasionally I can be very selfish, and Lord knows I've been given the gift of stubbornness. Eccentric, not so much, but I do need to work on that if I plan on making it in the performance industry. I'm not terribly concerned about money, I just need enough to live, and emotionally, well, I'm a man and I'm not supposed to talk about my emotions. I often take a bouncer approach at parties, and have trouble reaching a status above "wall flower." I find fault in many things, especially myself, and have had to make many a written and verbal apology based on my "sharp tongue." I was National Honor Society president my senior year of high school. Does that count as being a leader? I'm not sure I'm compatible with anyone, but women who are Horses, Tigers and Rabbits sound good to me! We've already touched on my honesty and faithfulness. Finally, being an actor, I've been able to play all three: business man, teacher, and secret agent!

No longer a petty lurker...

2005-09-05T17:26:00.000-05:00

So I hear blogging is the best way to keep in touch with those you care about these days. I tend to not care about these sort of things, but at the urging of one Mr. Luke Dunscombe I've finally joined the ranks of those whose life happenings are forever etched in the grain of the information super highway. I've fought the urge to blog in the past, but now I'm embracing it and hope that it will be a pleasant outlet for a not-so-recently diagnosed introvert like myself.
Before I start talking about myself, I can't help but ask a very important question that I hope someone will answer for me. What's so fun about reading the delicately woven musings of, for the most part, self oriented people? I am part of the last generation who remembers the world pre-internet, pre-cell phone and pre-satellite TV. I grew up having to ask someone face to face what their thoughts were on a topic, and had to answer them in return when I was posed the same question. It was a time of forced interpersonal communication. There were no other options. You want to know how someone's doing? Ask. Today, that's not the case.
Now a days, you can look in someone's AIM profile and find a nice shiny, bold and underlined link that states "BLOG." You can click on said link and go to a wonderfully colorful page, some with pictures, some not, that has paragraphs and paragraphs on one's religious beliefs ("Catholicism is a fancy word for doomed to hell," as one so bluntly stated), political beliefs (yawn, not even going to elaborate there), and life updates ("Todd and I are dating," "my sister's pregnant," even things as trivial as "I have heartburn today"). What a great idea for a culture that can't seem to tolerate looking one another in the eye anymore. No longer do you have to ask someone "what's up?" you can simply read their blog.
Don't get me wrong, I'm just as big a part of this culture as anyone. I used to be an outgoing, social butterfly type. I used to LOVE spending time with others and just hanging out. I used to love talking on the phone, writing letters, and getting to school early just so I could chat with my friends. In fact, I was voted "Most Outgoing" in the 8th grade. Now, I couldn't give two shits on whether or not I leave my basement apartment on a daily basis. I still have friends, great friends, and even studied interpersonal communication in college, but now I'm nothing but a glorified hermit, leaving my comfort zone only to work and occasionally entertain myself at a quality high school football game. I'm not blaming this solely on the internet and the blogging community, but what's my incentive for leaving? I can sit at my computer and chat with the friends I care about. I can read their blogs, find out what they're thinking and even fool myself into thinking that I'm "in the know" because I read about all the important happenings in their life (Luke, now that I've started my own blog you can no longer call me a lurker). Not to mention emailing...well that cuts out any need for talking to them on the phone or in person.
What I'm doing here in actuality is not attacking those who blog, because I'm quite enjoying this now that I've started. What I'm doing is the first step in an elaborate effort to motivate myself. I figure that if I attack myself in print, eventually I'll have to do something about it, or just delete the post. But more on what my goals and dreams are later.
So what's so fun about reading blogs? Is it our substitute for the interpersonal cravings we experience? Our need to be a part of someone's life? Our desire to feel like we're "in the loop"? I can't answer that yet, but my gut feeling says all of the above.